The Wars of Two Kingdoms
by Z-END99
Summary: The Kingdoms of Ruberta and Junpera are at war, in attack and retailiation, this is but only a day in the great battle over- "wait, this is about pancakes?" "Cookies are better!" One-Shot


**So after the last RWBY story I wrote, I thought I'd try the other end of the spectrum and try to write a comedy. So this is something I came up with. Hope you like it. Also, Would any one be interested in a RWBY/ Fairy Tail Crossover. That all being said, I Do Not own RWBY. It belongs to Rooster Teeth and the Late Monty Oum.., May he rest in peace.**

* * *

On the mighty fields of war, Two members of the Army of Junpera watched for intruders, looking for invaders on their fair land...

"..."

"...Hey"

"...Yeah"

"You ever wonder why we're-Gah" the shoulder was cut off as he was hit with a bullet causing him to fall over dead. Seeing this, the other guard ducked, a bullet missing him as he saw his assailants, the dreaded Army of Rubreta, a neighboring country of women, who believed their cookies were better than their own land's sacred pancakes.

For eons... this war had gone on as the warriors raised on both sides fought for their side. Whether it was through honor, boredom, annoyance or just being unlucky enough to be dragged into it... This was a fight that would determine the fate of the kingdoms.

"Enemy, Enemy" the warrior of Junpera said as a man dressed in white armor came from his horse, calming the man.

"Calm yourself" the knight had ordered as the man slowly started to relax, yet the fear not leaving his eyes.

"Sir John..." he breathed out in panic. "The Army of Ruberta, They have come for blood, lead by the infamous Black Cat" he said as the man, Sir John froze and nodded.

"Then we must alert the queen" he said as he began to walk towards his quarters. This was most ill-lucked as the Black Cat of Ruberta was one who could not be taken lightly. He had some run-ins with Lady Belle on may occasions, for she had nearly took his life. However, compared to those of the Rose Table, she was the one that promised the least painful.

The Rose Table, containing the four strongest ladies of Ruberta...

First was Lady Belle, who's beauty bewitched his brother in arms, Lord Wukon of the East as he was never seen again. Next was her partner, one who he believed only his queen and mistress could possibly hope to defend.

Lady Yin of the Dragon's Flame. She was the former heiress to the thrown before she left... pursuing adventure and romance. While her sister ran the royal line, she had left a name for herself, known as the Golden Vanity of Ruberta.

Only one woman was able to best her, a young thief who was the Countess of Dairy. Who silently defeated her, but spared her because of Lady Yin's mother.

Next was the General of Ice. John knew of her, loved her and because of that be paid the price. She was a true Ice Queen, he mistook her for a Snow Angel. A wandering sailor by the name Neptune was dazzled by her looks such as he was and from that moment on, the poor soul never saw light of day again... corrupted by her beauty and skill.

Finally was their queen. The Princess of Ruberta: Lady Rose of Cookies. the one who battled his queen over this pointless war. they were once friends... perhaps even siblings in all but blood but that time had ended once the war began...

Now there was either Fight for your Pancakes... or Die for your Treason.

Upon entering the War Room. he took his place on his thrown, the throwns being merged to better situate the atmosphere as well as allow a great union of their sides.

"Oh good, our fearless general is here" a bubbly woman began as she addressed the other three in the room. The woman in question wore a pink shirt and skirt with a golden cape thrown over her shoulders.

"My Queen..." the Black Cat of Ruberta has assaulted our forces... she has already fled in accordance to the ancient laws..." John said before he was interrupted by his partner. A beautiful red haired woman who had worn a gown to match her. Her green eyes had shown great worry as her heart had matched her ferocity in battle.

"You weren't hurt, were you" she asked in concern as the man shook his head, indicating he was unharmed before Lady Pyra. Queen Nora of the Valkarie stood up.

"So they wish to fight do they, How dare they try to attack my best Knight... well, I guess second best because you know... Ren" she said as John sighed and looked down before another man spoke up.

"Still, this is most perturbing" a man with raven hair with a long streak of magenta said. John had known him for his life upon arriving in the Kingdom of Junpera. His name was Lord Ren of the Valkyrie. He was the... associate king of the queen, as to put it in her words. "Not together-together.

"What do we do" Lady Pyra asked as Quenn Nora of the Valkyrie spoke her next order.

"We unleash our syrupy vengeance upon the Cookie-Loving heathens..." she declared as the other three looked at her. Lord Ren sighing into his palm as Lady Pyra and Sir John looked disturbed.

"She's really getting into this..." John said, earning a nod from his partner and mistress...

* * *

In the Castle of Ruberta, four women sat at a large table, each chair having it's own color and markings on the back as the youngest of them, a girl with silver eyes and a read cape covering her black attire waited for her sister-in-arms to rely the details of her mission's success.

"My queen..." she started in a deadpanned tone as it seemed she really did not want to be here... or at the very least interested in the affairs.

"Yes, speak sister Belle" the princess of Ruberta, Lady Rose stated as the raven haired woman sighed.

"The mission was successful." she clarified as another woman spoke her mind. Her white dress surrounding her as she appeared to most men like an angelic figure... and a monstrous force

"Well what did you expect... this is Arc we're talking about" she spoke, quite lowly of the blond knight as she viewed him as the weakest of all four members of the Four Pillars of Junpera.

"That's a little hard, isn't it Weissy" a voice spoke out as Lady Snow stared at the blonde haired beauty, her figure showing as the minimal clothes she acquired out of both deer and tiger she obtained gave her the appearance of a barbarian.

"What, I;m just telling the truth" she huffed, crossing her arms before they were silenced by their princess.

"Sister's we are not here to fight amongst ourselves... we are here to fight against those who do not view and worship the Sacred Cookies for what they truly are." she said as if it were words of wisdom

What, you mean like a health hazard" came out Lady Snow's annoyed tone before a girl came in with a horrified expression on her face.

"My Ladies... I bring you grave news... The White Knight of Junpera... he has retaliated" she said as all attention was on her.

"Oh great... what did that idiot do" Lady Snow muttered, irritated that she had to deal with the dunce acting against them. Seriously the whole thing was stupid. Just take down Jaune, Pyrrha with him and take down Nora and Ren... it was that easy.

"They attacked... the attacked..."

"The Cookie Factory" Lady Rose asked, scared that such retaliation.

"T-they attacked" she struggled to say as Lady Yin spoke up, this time with a smirk.

"Lady Belle's Tombs of Smut" she said with a cheeky grin, making the cat Faunus narrow her eyes...

Oh if that bastard touched her... romantic with specifically-detailed-scenes of literature than she would castrate him with a spork.

...

"Don't call them that" she snapped while Lady Yin laughed...

"They attacked... They attacked our cows!" she cried as the four looked at her with different reactions.

"That dunce... attacked the cows" That's it? wow, he really was pathetic if all he could do was attack some stupid live stock. Unless he was somehow trying to starve them into submission, it just seemed stupid.

Next was Lady Yin, who was in a similar boat with Lady Snow... seriously, that was it, all they did was attack some cows? Yeah she liked cows and felt a little bad but why would John attack cows... it made no sense.

Lady Belle however was angry, was this retaliation towards her, attacking her cows... it could be. She should of taken him when she had the chance... because with no cows... there would be less milk...

She liked milk... for need to know bases only...

And Lady Rose...

She looked like she was slapped across the face. Those... those jerks... they attacked the milk.

"This will not stand" she degreed as the others looked at her in either confusion or silent agreement.

"Don't you think you're getting a little worked up sis, it's only cows-"

Lady Yin was silenced by her sister slamming her fist on the table, a fury in her silver eyes.

"They attacked that which is sacred, Yin!" she yelled before the three looked at her. "We need milk to grow, you drink milk, I drink milk, we all drink milk." Lady Belle nodding in agreement.

"Still don't see why this is such a big deal" Snow muttered as Lady Rose continued.

"Not only that but cookies taste better with Milk. By attacking the cows they have disgraced to and dishonored that which is Milk and Cookies..."

And she would not forgive such transactions.

"Lady Belle" she called as the woman stood to attention. "You will bring me the White Knight of Junpera... in chains for my dungeon-"

"We have a dungeon?" came Lady Yin's confused voice.

"We have a bathroom, so"

"Oh no, we are not having him locked in the bathroom" not anyone, definitely not a boy and definitely not Arc of all people.

"Closet then, who cares. Blake. Go. Now" she ordered as the raven haired woman nodded and left the room in the shadows...

Meanwhile Weiss and Yang just looked at their leader in a worrying tone.

"Is she going to be ok" Weiss asked, a little uneasy as Yang shrugged it off before they left her alone.

Ruby meanwhile, picked up a stuffed cow no bigger than Zwei, hugging it in her arms and comforting it like it was her own baby.

"Nora... I know this was your plan" she muttered as she wanted to get a conformation with Jaune fist. She would make her pay for hurting her imaginary cows...

And the Princess of Ruberta would have her revenge... oh yes she will...

Ruby, you coming, Yang asked as the girl snapped out of her persona and nodded. Hopefully Blake wouldn't go too badly on her best friend here at Beacon... after all it was only a game...

* * *

 **So this was meant to be a one-shot but if you want me to continue then I will, that being said I hope you all have a good night.**


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